My life has been crazy for the past few weeks, and is now finally getting back to normal!
2 weeks ago, I went to a kiruv shabbaton, which was of course fun as always, but very tiring! (I really want to post about that- but it will take too long! Maybe another day…) I got home on a Sunday, and then on Tuesday I went to New York. I stayed by a friend in Boro Park and Wednesday and Thursday nights I had friends wedding in Brooklyn. Straight from the Thursday wedding I went with a friend to Far Rockaway and stayed there for shabbos, then came home Sunday morning and went to another friends wedding Sunday night!
And in between all this I had 3 tests.
The 1st wedding was at Ateres Shlomo. I don’t have so much to say about this since I'm not such good friends with the girl who got married and didn’t get to the wedding until after the chupah. My good friend is best friends with her, and she knew I would be in town so she invited me. Everyone wore black.
The 2nd wedding was at The Renaissance Ballroom. That place is gorgeous! It’s smaller than Ateres Shlomo but MUCH nicer! My friend (who is totally litvish) married a chassidish guy. I've never been to a chassidish wedding before, so it was definitely an experience! The chupah was outside in the freezing cold, right next to the train. An ambulance passed by like 3 times, and the train went by a few times also. Not exactly the ambiance you want at your wedding. There was no music at the chupah- the men just sang him down the isle. And then under the chupah they didn’t use a microphone, so my friend and I went inside halfway through since we couldn’t hear anyway. At the meal- the chosson and kallah didn’t sit together! They each sat on separate sides!!! The kallah is from my city, and we went to high school together and there were a bunch of girls from my city in New York, so they all came to the wedding also, so we all made it a very “out of town” type of wedding. It was really a very nice wedding, and I had a great time.
Back home on Sunday, the 3rd wedding in a week, the wedding was VERY nice! The girl’s family has a bit of “extra” money, so it was much nicer than the typical wedding here. Both the chosson and kallah are from my city which made it nice. I don’t know what’s normal for New York weddings, but this wedding had 600 people! She is the 1st girl to get married from her high school class and seminary friends, so she had 7 friends from seminary come into town, and basically her whole high school class was there and she invited tons of other girls. Usually by the 1st dance, the kallah dances with her relatives, and then friends make their way in at the 2nd dance. At this wedding, the friends TOOK OVER. After the kallah danced with her and the chossons immediate family, the friends were the wedding. But none of the girls actually danced- they all just screamed and jumped up and down. THE ENTIRE TIME! All the ladies stood on the side and watched. It was way too intimidating for them to get in the screaming, jumping circle! The only adults (besides for her family) that she danced with, was our principal from high school, and her best friends mother.
My sister said she never danced (read: jump up and down and scream) so much at any wedding, even at our sisters wedding! So for the kallahs friends, it was a really fun wedding! Me and one of my friends didn’t want to scream and jump up and down (especially since it wasn’t one of our good friends- both of our sisters are good friends with her, and I went to high school with her), but we still wanted to dance, so a lot of the time we stood right outside the jumping mob and clapped, or we would start a circle around all the girls. We felt pretty old.
They had a really good singer/band, even though they played some “interesting” music. You know Pink’s song about getting in a fight or whatever? So they played the music from that at one point. Verrrrry interesting ;-P
Not everyone wore black. It was a very colorful wedding. That's what happens at an out of town wedding!
I love weddings, but right now I'm a bit weddinged out.
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12 comments:
Wow so many comments to make ;)
a) careful with mentioning the 'shabbaton stuff' - one of the times i got in trouble was cuz THEY found it and made me take down what i wrote (positive stuff!)
b)ive never been to the renaissance but sounds like it was nice. my chassidish cousin also didnt sit with her chusson (i wanted to cry for her!) did she have a mitzvah tantz also?
c) "a bit of 'extra' money" - you make me laugh :)
a) i probably will never get around to writing about it anyway. but thanks for the warning.
b) no mitzvah tantz
I can't imagine a wedding hall being smaller than ateres shlomo. I'm not sure if I've been to the Renaissance hall before.
1-...I've been to Renaissance. it is beautiful!!! During my friends chupa there, the same thing happened, the ambulance went by a few times,and the trains as well. It wasn't the most pleasant chupa experience.
2- I never understood why they call jumping up and down dancing. lol.
3- I hate when there are too many girls at a wedding. Its the worst experience ever. I've been to one of those earlier this month, and I came home and told my mom I'm having a bouncer at my wedding, with a list of names or "BY invitation only" type thing... Who wants to dance with girls they hardly know when there are PLENTY of close adults one should dance with!
Whatever...thats just me. lol :)
FrumSkeptic: there are people that invite tons of people to their wedding, and they really know each person, but more like an acquaintance than friend. Then when it comes to dancing, there's just too many to dance with that they don't get a chance to dance with everyone.
babysitter- I am totally aware of frum wedding habits. I hate them lol.
having ppl u hardly know at weddings who u don't even have to invite is a waste of money as well as sloppy and inconsiderate to other guests. adults the kallahknows should have the opportunity to dance with her and all the guests should have pleasant non-clutter dancing environments.
in my opinion too many girls takes away from the elegance of the wedding. which is why I said I want a bouncer and/or a 'by invitation' only wedding
FrumSkeptic: but wouldn't it feel good knowing more people are at your wedding? even if you don't really know them, that you want them to share in your happiness of that day. Kinda like with comments on a blog, most people enjoy it even if they don't know the people commenting, and they may be one time commenters.
But yea, I do understand what your saying, about it being inconsiderate to the ones that the Kallah does know. Although I never really thought of the adult v. girl thing.
Babysitter:
"but wouldn't it feel good knowing more people are at your wedding? "
nope. I already know alot of people, extras are just more expensive.
"even if you don't really know them, that you want them to share in your happiness of that day. "
I've learned not to invest to much emotion into other people. I have my family, close friends, and a few not-so close friends (yet still friends) and Id rather invest MORE energy into THEIR happiness.
When one begins to get over emotional they either end up getting hurt, or truly depressed that they don't hvae the time, energy, or the means to truly worry about others happiness.
"Kinda like with comments on a blog, most people enjoy it even if they don't know the people commenting, and they may be one time commenters."
But too many useless comments become annoying, no? Or repetitive ones, and dumb ones. There are some comments you just wished stayed off-line.
"But yea, I do understand what your saying, about it being inconsiderate to the ones that the Kallah does know. Although I never really thought of the adult v. girl thing."
Lol. It was the first thing I noticed at my first frum wedding. It was just mind-boggling that SO many girls would show up to a wedding. In the beginning I thought she was just super popular, and then i realized later one she just invited everyone.
***
Plus generally, I dont usually get happy about people I don't particularly like or am nuetral towards. I dont care if they do/do not get engaged, so for me to go to their wedding is just a complete waste. The only reason I went to the girls wedding a few weeks ago was because I wanted to hang out with my Best friend who was really close to the kallah, so she really wanted to be there. and hanging out with her on a regular day is really hard sicne she needs to study. I personally was completely indifferent to the fact that the girl had literally just gotten married.
FrumSkeptic: ok your right, quality is better than quantity!
umm ok, considering some of the comments you've got in the past, that may be true, some are better unsaid.
So by your wedding, you won't be inviting your whole grade?
But the girls wedding you went to, was someone that you at least were acquainted with?
The thing is I feel it's better to invite more people cause you never know who will be the ones to come, and who will become close friends to you after. Like by my brothers bar mitzvah, since I hadn't had a bas mitzvah, my mother said I can invite a table of friends. So I invited a bunch, and it was very interesting to see that some that I had really wanted to come, didn't come because they thought it didn't make sense that I would invite them to my brothers bar mitzvah, and they thought it might be mixed or something, because I told them I was getting a cake and whole celebration thing. Then there were those that came that I really hadn't gotten close to be before, and through the bar mitzvah I became better friends with them.
"So by your wedding, you won't be inviting your whole grade?"
Absolutley not. lol. I didn't like over half my grade.
About a year ago I received an invite from a girl from my grade, and I was like "How did she even get my address, and WHY is she inviting me?"
So I ofcourse didnt go. I had no intention of wasting my time.
And so anyway, I completely forgot about the wedding. A few months later my friend and I were walking and we bumped into the girl that had invited me to her wedding (she was already married by now). She was chatting with my friend and all, then she looks at me, and goes "Do I know you? You look familiar?" So I told her "oh, I went to the same school as you did" and she goes "you were in that program right?" I was like "Yup"
And well...I was like "Why the hell would she invite me to her wedding, if she doesn't even remember who I am?"
And well, Id like to know everyone my side invites.
"But the girls wedding you went to, was someone that you at least were acquainted with? "
Yea, but we didn't like each other. We only pretended to like each other because we had similar freinds. She always complained about me to my Best friend, just like I always complained about her to my best friend.
We had an interesting relationship. I was in shock she invited me.
"The thing is I feel it's better to invite more people cause you never know who will be the ones to come, and who will become close friends to you after."
If someone doesn't come, you invite the next person on the list, or rejoice in how great it would be to save X amount of money on their plate.
FrumSkeptic: wow, I can't believe that she actually didn't recognize you!
I always felt bad for causing a friend relationship where 2 sides didn't get a long, reminds me of the saying "three's a crowd" that it never works out, there's always 2 that pair up, and one gets left out.
But then there are halls that require a certain amount of couples, so you have to fill it up.
babysitter- I think Id have enough people Id want to invite to fit whatever minimum each hall has.
If I didnt, Id just pick a smaller hall. lol.
I know PLENTY of people I like to fill seats. :)
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