I was at a wedding tonight, and someone pulled my friend aside to ask her what kind of guy she is looking for. I always think it's really nice when random people think of me or my friends, but some people are just stupid. When they were done talking, my friend told me what she said.
The woman had made a comment that she didn't understand why my friend wasn't married yet- because she's such a great catch!
It really annoys me when people say such ignorant things. Being a "great catch" has nothing to do with when you will find your bashert. I know plenty of 25 year old "great catches" who are still single and looking. I know even more 20 year old "not such great catches" who are happily married. My friend who is 26 recently got married to a 21 year old guy! So for the past 6 years she was going crazy with dating, while he was graduating high school! THAT is why she wasn't engaged yet.
People shouldn't assume that just because a girl is pretty, skinny, and smart that she will be engaged the minute she steps foot off the plane from seminary. Fat, ugly girls get engaged too ya know!
There are reasons for everything.
I wanted to go over there and punch that lady.
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18 comments:
Well said... well said.
"I wanted to go over there and punch that lady"
you should have!
I think that sometimes it's kind of wrong to over emphasize compliments altogether when the person is having a hard time as it is. Sort of like giving false hope, even more so if you don't know the person well.
Just be courteous and say the regular, you're such a nice boy/girl and hope you'll find you're match very soon.
A friend once instead of wishing me good luck with dating told me you'll be engaged within a month...
I didn't make much of it, knowing he can foresee the future.
In this case he felt very stupid afterwards...
AMEN!!
You go, girl.
Wish we could speak our mind to those annoying people...
...but that would be terrible for shidduchim...
sigh
:-P
i have friends who are older and single. everytime someone says to them at a wedding "IYH by you" they want to hurt them. its hurtful and insensitive.
I would have punched her. I guess she wouldn't question why a girl with diabetes isn't engaged yet.....oh right! It's cuz she has an older sister! :)
something diff- she actually has someone in her family that has diabetes lol so i doubt she views it very negatively
hmmm is it possible that ive gotten the same comment from the same woman before!?
lol no idea stam...possible tho
Wow, you're aggressive... Why wouldn't you/your friend take that just as a compliment, huh?? Why always thinking bad about people??
Regarding your 26y/o friend - that's a great thing she married such younger guy, it's a very rare thing. B''H they will be an example to other girls who are judging by age and not by what person is..
dude with hat: if the lady would have said "ur such a great catch, im sure ull find the right one soon" - thats a compliment.
but for her to ask why shes not married yet? we're all wondering why we're not married yet!!!
it was just insensitive of her to say that
@EsPes
My point was in looking always for more good and less bad... Those words ain't any close to the end of the world, but still have good meaning in them too...
dude w/hat:
ur right, but this is my place to vent abt stupid things
Espes: I agree with what you said.
But it reminds me of something, recently I was by a wedding, and this over 40 year old single lady was talking to my mother about some other person who got engaged that has an older single brother. So the lady said IY"H by the brother. This surprised me, cause I thought single people don't like hearing "IY"H by you" and here she was an older single herself, and she was saying it about others. So then I was thinking maybe its just a preference thing.
babysitter- i never mind hearing an "iyH by u" - i dont think its rude at all! but thats not really what this lady said
Espes: right, I know what you mean. That part of the comment was more towards what Harry-er said.
But also, recently I heard someone say how there's this 28 year old girl thats doing great at work, but single. And the guy was saying that the girl has to get married already, and start a family. And I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I tried explaining to him, that it's not like she wouldn't want to get married. Everyone has their right time and right person. It's all in Hashem's hands, and you can't just marry someone for the sake of marrying because your getting old.
right exactly- ppl have no control over when they meet the right one
Its okay Shadchans are supposed to be nosy, its in the handbook.
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